Oh, really? Well, it turns out that I am so darned important because, well, I went to the same college as Gwyneth Paltrow! Yes, it’s true. It was the Number One Party School. But that was 40 years ago. Does it count? Even if I graduated with a worthless degree in Psychology? Why do I care? Well,it’s because I want to…

Heck, I wanna be on Housewives of Silver Spring! Lots of excitement here when neighbors get together and collaborate against that alleged Republican (and maybe even a Born-Again) who cancelled her Washington Post subscription! That person even quit the Book Club (“No Oprah Shit Allowed”) without permission. The FBI…