OH MY GOD

I just pictured my brother eating an empty toilet roll and now I’m dying so thank you for that

After my parent’s divorced I visited my dad and brother at their apartment. Of course I was menstruating. I vaguely mentioned to my dad that if he ever planned on having female guests over, it might be nice to get a trash can for the bathroom. He was amenable. My brother emphatically declared that their house was a…

Before the purge, Pinkham, Shrayber and Jane Marie were the only real reasons I still read Jezebel. Now Bobby has me hanging on by a very fine thread. Go figure :/

Mark was fired months ago. He writes for Uproxx now, where I hope he is appreciated

Or if you go gluten free your farts will smell like Chanel no. 5 and your mouth will cleanse itself naturally of all decay-causing bacteria (these are only half jokes, a gluten free person in my life once said something very similar to me)

I think I would like to read the longform essay of this story, it would be a welcome counterpoint to the constant barrage of stories about how açai berries gave people telekinesis and quinoa taught them six languages

That nice body empowerment stuff was ruined for me when I read the books...in them, when she jots down her weight, she’s always somewhere in the area of 110-130 lbs iirc

One of my faves is Nina from Nina Ricci, it’s a bit citrusy and a bit woody, which might be right up your alley

I don’t know about anywhere else, but at my old job you could trick the machine into allowing you to swipe by inserting the chip upside down first >.>

It’s like ten hours later and I’m all “I hope that didn’t come across as ‘you dumbass’”. Nightshades are one of my major food groups, right after condiments, I don’t expect you, or anyone else really, to have known that off the top of your head. I’m glad you learned a new thing, but could have been more polite and…

...bell peppers are nightshades

I don’t know if you did that on purpose, but perfect gif is perfect because that is her husband’s uncle

Sause isn’t the mother of the two girls that were implied to be not good enough by their father so what is your point?

Well not my worst, there were worse, but damn

See that sounds adorable. Combined with my poor person second hand Hurley hoodies and the aforementioned eyeliner/black hair (I am a pasty mostly-Bavarian, scene was not a good look for me), I was just a wreck from 14-16.

I had a tomboy mom and brothers, so no one taught me how to style my hair or apply eyeliner. I gave up even trying, chopped my hair off, dyed it black and wore raccoon eyes and Chucks for a few years. Those were dark days, dark indeed.

I will admit that is a thought I had considered, but ad revenue is how the writers get paid so I would prefer not to if I can avoid it

A shitty work around I’ve made is highlighting the text under the ad and pasting it into a text message to myself, but it’s a PAIN IN THE ASS

Wrong place for this, but who the fuck do I talk to about the gigantic ass ads that cover large portion of text in every. single. article.