He looks like James Earl Jones ate Lewis Black.

Through my work, I had the opportunity to visit Kapoor’s Chicago based home which is in a 1920's style mansion on Lake Michigan (with a private beach). After marveling at the grounds, the house (of which he is never at) and researching said client (because I was curious), it amazed me that this dude is a…

So one more than the Housing Bubble collapse in 08.

Then he won battle of the bands and the jock's girlfriend kissed him.

Sadly the likelier situation is that none of this even happened, so we’re reading some loser’s loser fantasy.

He is not the Hero we need, but the Hero we deserve.

So this asshole was in the theater with his phone out taking pictures? He’s worse than the spoiler.

Animal cruelty is not something I want to minimize, but we eat so much meat raised and slaughtered under terrible conditions here in the US. Why are horses the exalted exceptional class? Because they are handsome? Because they are “athletes”?

Here’s the pun for those that need it: get off your high horses.

Most of the…

“ Some pigs are cute but even the cute ones are dumb as a rock and can’t perform any kind of trick or chore.”

Pigs are intelligent, social animals that can absolutely perform tricks and chores. Still absolutely delicious. 

“Any new car nowadays can be expected to last 15 years or more.”

Excuse me, what?
Depends on how much you drive chief.

Also what about repairs? 

So we’ve reached peak stupid.

I guess I will have to settle for Michelle Obama being a better human being than I am. From here on out, when they go low, kick them in the teeth.

That is what cost Hillary in 2016. Michelle Obama was full of shit, when they go low, you fight back because bullies never expect nor can handle being hit back with equal force. 

Some of you may recall that last week I posted about my wife having a problem with my cannabis use. I thought I would post an update.

My wife and I had a good discussion about it last week. Our initial disagreement over it occurred about two weeks prior to that and I hadn’t used since. She actually brought it up out…

i don’t care what anyone says.

Who gave that three stars??

My kid was not quite 2 when Biff was elected. I got past my fatalism because no amount of Biff is going to prevent me from loving that kid and doing anything I can to make a better world for him. If you’re worried about the world your kid is coming into, I figure then that’s all the motivation you need to start trying…

This is what I come to Deadspin for.

Guys, here me out. What if we made domestic violence illegal?

well LAH DE DAH mister fancypants, but some of us are struggling to make ends meet and we can’t afford to stick our nose in the air and walk past free giardiniera just because it came out of a pothole