*removes “proficient in MS Excel” from resume*

Quantity was not the feature that made those tattoos reprehensible. This is a bad take.

And tattoo a notarization for good measure.

God I loved that game. I can’t even understand what’s going on half the time in the newer Smash Bros games

If you are suggesting that Baltimore should jettison Flacco for Kaepernick, you are out of your fucking mind

I can’t find video of it but if you owned Smash Brothers for the n64, selected computer control for four jigglypuffs at the lowest ability setting, you ended up with a match in which it is plausible that our president is at the controls.... Jigglypuffs walking off platforms, not knowing how to get on the platform and…

And then improperly dead lifted her corpse to show what a strong boy he’s become!

Donald Jr. probably shot her.

Ok. I believe you. But that’s exactly what Sasha Fierce would say.

Neither will that, I’m afraid. Your best bet is to hire an experienced lobbyist and have him bribe as many Congresspeople as possible. ‘Merica.

If he wanted everyone to suck his dick for the mere fact that he was doing his job, Trump should have ditched the Presidency and gone into porn.

Eric back there trying to remember the last time he fed the woman he’s got chained up in a shipping container out by the port.

Where are they now?

Funny enough, if there’s three people that are going to be left in jail because of their father it’s gonna be them:

I then stood and bore witness when he broke the six seal of the end of the days and it read, “You will completely agree with Lavar Ball on a topic,” the heavens cried.....

This kid has become the best Kawhi Leonard in the league in just his 2nd season. Until of course the actual Kawhi Leonard comes back.

Those poor people look so sad, like a couple of cagED raCCooNs.

Did anybody really love James Toback, Brett Ratner, Harvey Weinstein...

Sure thing, Mr. Jackson.

Oh, I agree with this. If a steak needs A-1, it wasn’t cooked right or was a bad cut. But... if you absolutely have to get the steak down, A-1 is acceptable. Ketchup is not.