I knew there was a reason I hated you. This was it.

Maybe you don’t have friends because you steal jokes? https://xkcd.com/1268/

Dill-eat your account.

“disgusting orange drink”

I attended a talk about wild raptors at the local FW&P office. One of the more interesting things they said is that most merlins in cities and towns aren’t migrating in the winter anymore. And they’re not because some of their prey, small songbirds, are also not migrating, because they have access to bird feeders all…

To me it’s funny because of that time Jon drank dog cum. But that’s just me.

If only they had come to the Gizmodo comments for the things they didn’t think of.

Serves him right for wearing an Acetony Romo jersey

Hopefully this doesn’t start a trend of jersey burning assholes self immolating.

Used to be Washington state college

How insecure must these old bastards like Jerry Jones and Mike Pence be in their white privilege that the sight of a few black players kneeling silently during a song makes them so agitated that they cannot enjoy their greater privilege of undercompensated (mostly black) labor sacrificing their long-term health to…

What was weird was that Santa asked the question Brokaw was answering.

You’re talking to me like I don’t support gun control. I agreed with everything Tom was saying when he got cut off. Your answer to Mall Santa’s initial question was, “There is a simple solution, change the channel.”

While you are not wrong - I’d take a couple of months off if this happened to me - these guys are professional athletes. They are young, healthy, in great shape, driven to succeed, and take better care of themselves than 99.99999% of the population. It is not unreasonable to expect them to heal faster and be more…

Guy, I’m not advocating treating players like chattel but a transverse process fracture is no worse than fracturing a rib...in fact, the embryologic anlage to a lumbar spine transverse process is...drumroll...a rib. They are basically the same thing and a fracture of which confers zero instability. But pain. There is…

Let me guess: film school, right? Masters in Projection?

Holy shit I would be dead if there was a case of beer for 5 bucks anywhere near me.

Well? Were they a Sox fan or not?

Tricky thing, walking when you’re on the verge of shitting your pants. Gotta move fast, but can’t allow too much separation of the cheeks. Keep’em firm and get a nice shuffle going.

Back in my day, when I needed a sip of water, I had to get permission from a nun to walk down the hall to the water fountain and be back in less than a minute. And we were never allowed to drink too much water because then we’d have to go to the bathroom. And guess what, she was right because hooo boy did I ever…