I think they secretly just want to design and screen cool metal t-shirts, sell some sweet schwag at the merch table at a Slayer show. Also- Power Shift? Sounds like a sex dungeon. Not sure if this is the message we’re trying to send here

Because you really wanted to be a fighter pilot, but then you found out that was hard and the military is actually like really selective about who it gives multi-million dollar weapons to.

Best. President. EVER.

Actually, I would be WAY more surprised to hear that Hefner actually has ever had sex. That “look how many broads I got” type can never get it up IRL. He just likes to play with his dolls. It ends there. Snork.

Dear America, welcome to the experience of being in a potentially fatal abusive relationship.

I almost - almost - started to feel sorry for the people who are forced to fawn over him every day. They must hate him, right? I can imagine their lives are miserable, and that they can barely tolerate being around him, because he’s such a spoiled little brat. Imagine having to go to work every day and paste on a…

They show him the same folder every day and he doesn’t notice.

I’m skeptical that Trump reads 40-50 pages of anything a day.

“asking the RNC staffers for flattering photos of the president.” Yeah, and I want a unicorn for my birthday.

Currently taking bets on how long it takes until he shows up at a rally with a bunch of fake medals on his ill-fitting suit coat.

This is probably the most transparent Donald Trump story ever:

*Trump sees normal mirror with fat old reflection* “FAKE MIRROR!”

“Maybe it’s good for the country that the president is in a good mood in the morning,” one former RNC official said.

This is also why like half of his Twitter followers are Russian bots.

It’s amazing, Trump basically needs a life fluffer to get through the day. He must have the world’s most flaccid little penis.

Time to repeat my mantra. If you voted for, or support trump, you’re a racist, cousin-fucking shit gibbon.

Up to interpretation!! That’s the beauty of a Vague Theme. I’ve been wanting to have a party where the theme is Theme Party.

I don’t even know who she is, but someone PLEASE tell me she’s gay? Because DAMN.

A friend once said “There are some celebrities I only ever see on the red carpet. I think they live on it.”

I should not feel hostile to these folks but it is typical of Conservative Christians. When as issue affects them personally, THEN they discover their empathy & sense of equality. I’m glad they’ve opened their hearts to their loved ones. Lord knows many parents will still reject their own children, but to be oblivious…