ABC Corp sux. XYZ 4 life!

I don't think the chicken's freaking out. (it's an alien)

This is very funny to imagine. That's all.

As if an infant having an intense, all-consuming obsession with the Bee Gees would be a bad thing.

Seriously.

Come on man, you know I can't drive after my DUI. Now take me to Taco Bell before I make you kill everyone you love.

It sounds like something is wrong with your local water supply or you have a particularly strong sensitivity to chlorine. I don't know anyone else who's ever tasted or noticed a burn from the small amount of chlorine in tap water.

But they're CHEMICALS and CHEMICALS are BAD

Thank you. There's a lot of paranoia about tap water, but the U.S. has some of the most reliably safe water. Dedicated bottled-water drinkers distress me.

That's how I feel about baseball. Except minus the part about great athletes and fun to play. Unless whiffleball counts.