HIS WIFE WORKS AT GOLDMAN SACHS I FEEL LIKE I'M TAKING CRAZY PILLS

"The kind of bombing you see on the nightly news…" You mean those bombs that they use on Planned Parenthood locations? The specifically NOT glittery variety?

Did they include a tiny little hanger with the glitter?

"tools to fight back against the culture of death"

See, if it were me, I'd roll around in that shit and work it.

Your company isn't your friend.

I love the parents who are teaching their little ones how to be polite in the store where I work! There are quite a few, but we tend to remember the rude ones better I suppose. But having a 4 year old hand me a wrinkled wad of bills and say "fank you!" when she gets her Disney Princess DVD melts my heart.

Favorite overheard on the metro comment "Why are these people all in such a hurry? It's vacation!" at one of the busier metro stops for people commuters.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm at Starbucks as I type this. I was told that they had to brew my coffee and it would be a little while. I smiled and said "no worries." The cashier comped my coffee and I tipped her well. It pays to be cool and not a dick.

The other day I witnessed a mother grabbing her (13 year old?) son by the front of his shirt and saying "don't you EVER do that again" for being snotty to the cashier at a coffee shop.

Roger Miller's story is why I always overtip for delivery. I get pizza so hot I can't even eat it yet, and the Indian place sends a free dessert every time. Mmmm mango mousse. I don't get why anyone would be shitty to the person who is saving me from having to cook and wash dishes.

That's so disappointing that a group of war criminals who carry out widespread ethnic and religious cleansing, rape women, and employ child soldiers...eat junk food. I mean, profiteroles with cheap chocolate? How gauche. With all the money they steal, surely they could fly in some artisanal toast. I'm worried…

Almost no bourbon is aged anywhere near to that long. it is a lot hotter in Kentucky than it is in Scotland. Elijah Craig is aged 12 years, Knob Creek 9, Maker's about 6, Basil hayden 8, Woodford reserve 8, Evan Williams 10....The vast majority of top shelf bourbons are aged in the 8 to 12 year range. The only…

The joke here is that this rum is aged in Bourbon casks. But then I just realized it doesn't actually say that on the label. So reading this post and the previous was just a giant waste of time.

I'll show myself out.

In my Gold's Gym parking lot is a McDonald's. Today, in the McDonald's is 99 cent Big Mac day. Fuck all ya'll and that Kale.

How to make a proposal all about you 101

A guy I worked with told me he was splitting wood in the back yard when his only child, then 4 years old, came up behind him, within axe back-swing range. He told the kid to stand farther back, took a couple more swings, then caught sight of movement in the corner of his eye. Kid was right back in the danger zone. He…

I'm so glad the baby punting story ended with the parents apologizing.

The end is deer.

a friend of mine who went to Agnes Scott said on Facebook that SB students were being offered spots w their scholarships as transferable too.