Cocksplat just sent tea out of my nose. So evocative - totally spot on

I am a 28-year old woman and I STILL checked with mom before inviting my dude to a family event (but then again, I had a friend whose parents paid for her boyfriend to go to Mexico with them when we were 17 so I guess it's a toss up?)

Does Trump look like the kind of person who would respond well to whispered advice? Or any advice at all? I understand what you’re saying, and it’s an interesting point, but I truly do not think it applies here – Hope Hicks is taking Twitter dictation (but not actually tweeting), which doesn’t scream behind-the-scenes…

I always think of the woman whose toddler grabbed the gun from her purse and accidentally killed her in the supermarket. Those poor children.

Bodies are weird, though. So much depends on how/where weight is distributed and what kind of frame it’s on (maybe she has narrower hips than you do? Who knows!). and if she’s not a size 6 but wants to say she is because Hollywood is vain, is that really such a big deal?

Cars and alcohol weren’t invented for the sole purpose of turning living things into dead things.

only another old white man can save us from old white men!

You think those came from Hillary? They didn’t even spell raucous right

This is my 2016 mantra

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Same! I'm even holding back on salty Bernie-or-Busters today in the interest of being a gracious winner. I am so glad to be alive in 2016!

A mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a vest

Chalk it up to my curious nature

Mostly because I was as confused as most other commenters appear to be when I first read this piece (but now I’m just confused about why you’re so angry? Is it my upward inflection? Does it upset you????)

Are you operating under the assumption that this was an earnest op-ed about woke toddlers?

Pretty sure that was the point? Because the whole article is a weird joke?

Oh my god, you’re amazing. To make sure I’m clear: not only am I at fault for reading a public comment posted on the internet, I’m also the sanctimonious one even though you’re the one telling “Mrs Clinton” (it’s Secretary Clinton, by the way) that she doesn’t “deserve your vote”? Sure sure, makes sense.

Man, I really love these long comment diatribes directed at someone who will never, ever read them. Have you rehearsed this speech in your head and imagined delivering it to a chastened Hillary? Your sanctimony is palpable.

Wasn’t Obama declared the presumptive nominee before the convention in ‘08 with an even narrower margin than this one? I don't think she's doing anything unprecedented

This is all I've got.

It sounds like your weird ex is like my weird ex! I think it’s their way of “checking in” to make sure we have to think about them again? Grosses me out.