I dunno, Melania likes him and as long as Trump kicks the bucket before he’s 14 or so, he may be ok.

“And them I smacked him right in the head and told him not to worry about it because there’s no brain in there to traumatize,” I hope.

Locally-sourced organic blood.

I recently read something about memories from childhood being sharper because every moment was proportionately a larger part of your life experience.

“and I touched a person” AAUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am the grown version of your sister—I get nervous when the wolves are chasing Belle in Beauty and the Beast—and really need to stop reading these.

This is scary as hell. I really like your writing.

I rented a place with a similar history. It was definitely haunted but not in a scary way. The guy had spray-glittered the floors, light fixtures, curtains, and kitchen stove, so we had a pretty good idea who kept leaving rhinestones everywhere.

I rented a house with a cast iron stove that glowed when I made the fire too hot. It wasn’t potbellied, though.

Stop it with the “inner cities” crap, Rudy. You’re racist. Nobody said you aren’t racist. WE GET IT.

There was also news today that he tried to sleep with her. So, at least that far.

I bought that for my nephew in 2009. He flipped.

I’m hoping for a temper tantrum that causes spontaneous combustion.

I almost didn’t open the video. That would have been a terrible mistake. (Kittens and a pony, yall.)

The headwraps on this promotion tour have been fanfreakingtastic.

Thank you for every one of these shots.

I thought I had to avoid sulfites completely, then stopped smoking and was able to drink wine. Tastebuds & lungs are happy, waistline a bit less so.

Like, a small racist. Not a little bit racist.