Cue throwing of MAGA hat into the air. Hat lands on ground. Tiff-Tiff spits on hat.

Hm. Not quite exploiting the First Daughter gig as best she could...

If I recall correctly, there was a man, who was attracting a bit too much attention for his beliefs and thus needed to be silenced, although he committed no crime, and even though a great many people, in private, supported his actions and beliefs.

Riiiiiight? Can we please have an emergency Shade Court ruling on this? Pretty please?

Yeah, sure, no worries.

Find your local Office of Emergency Management. They’d love to hear from you! Their training programs are usually better than their websites, so you might need to do some calling around. Or call the police or fire department; they’ll also know how to hook you up.

“I don’t give a fuck about trams! I don’t give a fuck about transportation!”

Things I used to like, but cannot probably ever like again:

I am wondering how this is done in the rest of life: People are removed from their families, places of work and homes all the time without their consent, based on an assumption of mental instability without any consent for a formal diagnosis. What if the Secret Service observes something in his private life? “You…

Klucci Klux Klan

Siemens. IBM. Hugo Boss. Puma. Adidas. Kodak.

To be very reductive, a “Being an Ally for Dummies” tutorial might include that scene from “Finding Nemo,” where Dory and Nemo find themselves surrounded by hungry, yet surprisingly socially aware sharks reciting the “Fish are friends, not food” motto.

How is that not hate speech?

“Every girl on the planet wants your dick right now.”

True. Yes. Sorry.

Unconstitutional–okay. But is it really impossible to withhold funding? I’m curious: Let’s say California doesn’t remit to the Federal government, what happens then? The Federal courts and/or Supreme Court steps in and sues California and rules against California. Fine. But what happens then? Do tanks roll over the…

Yes! Somebody get these boys some sparkly leotards, because there is going to be some flipping going on that will even impress Simone Biles.