No, dude! I am as straight as they come!

I will probably be too exhausted from all the sex!

Actually, my partner is so pleased with the fact that I am sensitive and secure enough to write for Jezebel on the daily (about only the most important topics and never weird sex trends and puppies) that all we do is have sex and eat lunchables. And then I get paid for this!

Um, no, but the point is you can't just say "X is the closest thing I'll ever have to a child" and automatically get to equate it with a child. The closest thing you ever have to a child is not the same thing as "your child." I am not equating pets and dolls. I am also suggesting people not equate pets and children.

I always believe that kids, and pets alike, are a big part of people's lives. And if I am interested in those people, and their lives, I am also interested in their kids/pets/both. So I would totally love to see a picture of your cat if we knew each other. I would also love to see pictures of your kids, how…

they are not children. they are animals.

Ok, you mentioned taxes so this is my way into this thread. This isn't directed just to you Zucchinisforever, but to anyone making comments equating parenting, park space, shitting, deaths, or biting by humans as anywhere near the same ball park as dogs or any pets. Your pets will NEVER grow up to pay taxes, hold…

I'm obnoxiously obsessed with my dog and I 100% agree. It's creepy.

Sorry, let me break it down and hopefully make up for my previous missteps.

Ok, that's a good point - I love my dogs and they are alien in their behavior and I love talking about them - but I would NEVER equate them to anyone's child story, because they are NOT children, they are dogs.

have you ever seen a toddler spot another toddler he knows in a public place? It's hilariously like when a dog spots a dog it knows from elsewhere. It's silly, and it's simply because animal behavior *does* cross species lines and, also likely, because toddlers are at an age where they are making social connections…

No - but don't you get this- dog behavior is NEVER exactly like toddler behavior. Sure, it can be funny on the outset but they are DOGS and you are conversing with people about their children.

"about your kids and I will bore you with endless stories about my pets."

Hey, my golden retriever died in my arms about a year ago. I also was devastated. I still miss him. I have a herd of dog and cats that I love dearly and I take wonderful care of them. I also have 4 adult children 1 son in law, a beautiful granddaughter and a couple of future in laws that I also love dearly. For me…

Her vet. UGH. I know they're doing it to placate the people who refer to their pets as furbabies, but come on.

As an aside, I get annoyed when I am referred to as my cat's "mom". My cat's mother was a fucking cat. I love my cat, I care for her and provide for her, but she's not my child

I'm a "breeder" - damn me to Hell, right?

Do you do that out of revenge or because you like sharing pictures of your pet? I personally don't have pets and just now have a human (I became a mom several months ago). I like seeing other people's kids and I like seeing other people's pets. If they mean much to my friends, they mean much to me.

The term furbaby chaps my ass.

If you think a pet being ill is the same as a child facing death, then you're right - we're going to disagree. Obviously you don't have children, but on top of that, you must not have any human whose life you value highly. Truly, it shouldn't matter and with most grownups it doesn't - I don't know anyone who argues…