The USOC further offered the use of their own seconds to assist USA Gymnastics in completing their resignations, and requested that their resignation poems be submitted by the end of the month

“So I got to work on my relationship with The Mej and trying to even the keel out. I gotta learn how to deal when I get my Salah tossed.”

Counter-counterpoint: Nah. Edgar’s a stone-cold HOFer.

The greatest trick Sam Hinkie ever pulled was to make losing a selling point. While Hinkie, in his misguided arrogance, may have been sincere, all of the cynical copy cats who have followed most certainly are not. Hey Jeets!

Fuck off, Jeff, I know you have a Kinja account.

Are there any restrictions planned on willful franchise destruction? Or operating a top-market team like a debt-ridden recent college graduate with an art history degree?

To be fair - MCW couldn’t take the shots, so Scott Brooks actually chose Dwight Howard to come back to the court and shoot them. I hate defending this dude, but the big balls may have been warranted - if for pettiness alone.

So you’re saying that Ron Rivera is surrounded by assholes?

Follow-up newswire: People of Saudi Arabia immediately demand film ban be reinstated.

QB is unquestionably the most important position in sports. You can’t win consistently without a great QB.

The great thing about this comment is, it would have been just as valid had the Vikings NOT won after blowing a 17 point lead.

Are you saying to trade Kemba Walker and more for broken ass Markelle Fultz and a second rounder? That’s a terrible trade.

(ahem) DeadspInterview.

Ashley Feinberg has confirmed she is the current Deadspin editor in chief

I get excited as hell when I see a post from her. Not to disparage Deadspin but of all the people who have been plucked away from here before I can’t believe nobody has scooped her up yet.

He is correct, Diana is excellent.

Jerome3000, we’d like to issue a formal apology for forcing you to read about video games. We’re sorry we put you in a diaper and spanked you until you could name all the Overwatch heroes. Truly sorry.

I can’t wait to read your excuses for not hiring Colin Kaepernick.

Speaking of ruining Deadspin, we haven’t gotten our Bears in a while. Who do we have to talk to around here to bring back Bear Friday? We’re missing all the good bears!

Even more amazing - Roger Sharpe was a deaf, dumb, and blind kid. But he sure played a mean pinball.