THEY AREN’T EVEN TRYING ANYMORE. WHAT EVEN IS THIS.

Oh shnizzles, you got me!

it’s just all about you, isn’t it?

narcissism +1

It’s a well-known fact that psychopaths are obsessed with pants-zipping.

I take my coffee like I take my women. Ground up, Peruvian, and in the freez—

I prefer my coffee with heavy cream or hazelnut creamer. I drink it black because I drink a lot of it and also like to zip my pants.

What, now i’m a psychopath because I actually like the taste of coffee?

it me

The finest microwaves.

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

I was working in an upscale restaurant

Alt is also an active member in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

I just assumed an old friend. I love that no matter how powerful and old you are, your old HS and college friends can still turn you into an insecure teenager, and pressure you into making bad decisions.

Her monologue brought up a great point: who the fuck is capable of making Hillary Clinton drink tequilla ? That’s real power. That mysterious woman probably runs some shadow organization that will never be toppled.

My guess was that they were thinking Yelp for people then realized that allowing negative comments about people has some different repercussions than say a restaurant. So you’re left with a curated comments list which defeats the whole point.

Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. And another commenter pointed out that, given the context (i.e., being naked in the presence of a presumed sexual partner), he might not even have been flaccid when the picture was taken. So, if he was flaccid, the perceived size doesn’t really mean a whole lot (see the landmark…

The only way we will know if this is a true celebrity occurrence is if my 73 year old husband asks me if I’ve seen Bieber’s dick. I give it 24 hours.

Can I do that too? I mean I’m a woman though. Like maybe I get like insanely wealthy and get my support staff to say: ‘Supernova has the smallest vagina ever, it’s like non existent. I almost saw it once but it vanished like a thief in the night because I didn’t believe hard enough.’