THE BEAUTY IS THAT IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER AT ALL IF IT WAS STAGED OR NOT.

TL;DR but

I can’t burp. Seriously. Just can’t. Very rarely, like, less than once a month maybe, some tiny little burp might emerge, always unexpected. This used to come up (heh) in conversation every now and then, but I’ve pretty much stopped mentioning it because apparently it takes about 3 seconds of mulling that one over…

There’s no “too soon”. I mean, no one WANTS to fart, ever in front of your significant other. But if you let one go accidentally on the first date and he no longer likes you... well that’s his problem.

I am an SBD farter. My Husband is loud. By our powers combined we are probably not pleasant house guests.

Mr. Farticus is very.. polite about farts. I’ve heard him fart twice, and both times he denies it and tells me to forget that it happened.

Honest to blog?

Right? I’ve always thought Ellen Page was super cute and pretty.

If I looked like Cindy Crawford in the “bad” photo... I’d be in jail. Cause I’d be having naked parades everyday right in the middle of the street.

10/10 wood climb.

If Taylor owned up and said, “MTV was just covering for me. I totally tooted. Oops!” it would be amazing. Not to mention, girls who look up to her wouldn’t feel so bad about their own potentially-embarrassing moments. Celebrities fart, too!

guilty face.

I know the article. You+me=same page ;)

It’s like...it’s a metaphor...for something... but his imagery is just so opaque...

For a second I thought “this will seem so gross to her 10 years from now when she’s older/(hopefully)wiser and he’s just some idiot ex-boyfriend and she hears it on the radio.”

what are they doing? I DON’T GET IT

They say she young, I should’ve waited, she a big girl dog, when she’s stimulated.

“She a big girl dog, yeah I’m putting in, I’m penetrating, I’m getting big, yeah I’m stimulated.”

I refuse to pronounce his name correctly. I call him "Tiger".