Obviously. Best way to stop a good guy with a gun: shoot him first.

sentenced to probation....too bad he wasn’t an amputee runner from South Africa. Then he could totally get off.

Early one mornin’ while makin’ the rounds
I took a shot and sleeping medication and shot my woman down
I went right home and I went to bed
I stuck that lovin’ forty-four beneath my head.

I had a coworker ask me to dance at a Christmas party once and I gave him my best April Ludgate and said “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I DANCE? NO. It looks like I sit at home and smoke pot and listen to records.”

He laughed and bought me a beer and we talked about music all night.

And WOW I just got really, really sad because I…

Giving a shit about my physical appearance.

- Splitting a check in an itemized fashion.

Um, just FYI pretty sure most people tend to think of cooking nice meals for themselves to be a sign of maturity, and eating cold leftovers as something feral teenagers do.

is this satire

Too old to pretend to be into loud electronica. Or any electronica.

This is to court art what this was to frescos:

If you look up ‘basic bitch’ in the urban dictionary, this is the picture. Her Uggs are probably on the floor.

Just get a fucking abortion next time, mate. Your personal beliefs are retarded. You didn’t want another kid? Use a condom. Don’t want to use a condom? Get an abortion. It’s super simple stuff.

So this is the type of clinic the GOP expects to provide all the services Planned Parenthood dose once they defund them...right? That sounds like a great plan.

Thank you for this. I’m astonished that people are jumping on me like I’m some anti-choice monster spouting ignorance when they are the ones who don’t have their facts straight. Is there FEDERAL funding for abortion care? No. Do anti-woman forced birthers like to pretend there is? Absolutely.

Hey, thanks for the lecture! It just so happens that I’m not only a pro-choice activist, but the founder of a fairly successful pro-choice group. Needless to say, I’m probably a bit more hip to the laws (and anti-woman tactics) than you’re assuming, so you can go ahead and take your tone down a few pegs.

This is an absolutely awful situation and an example of gross incompetence, but so-called “wrongful birth” claims are very complex and typically disfavored concepts under the law. Rightly or wrongly, the law has generally been resistant to allowing a parent to sue someone for an unwanted child because of the label…

So I totally don’t think that they should pay her kid’s medical bills unless it is their fault that the kid has issues. It’s their fault that the kid was born, yes. But that should be the end of it.

Same but also would not have in a million years gone through with the pregnancy

This is my worst nightmare.