I didn’t realize I couldn’t see 3D until I went to my first 3D film, My Bloody Valentine. (I went with a group, so not my choice of cinematic greatness). Because I only have one actual eye, and it’s glaucoma maybe a factor too?, I guess I can’t see 2D? Whatever the case, it was a blurry mess, so I don’t think 4DX is…

There’s certainly a lifespan there. I’ll bide my time...

I don’t watch, BUT is the guy on the left the trainer? Because trainer all day knowing absolutely nothing else of this scenario. That way, my body is tight if/when I leave him for the chiropractor.

And I typo English because I’m legally blind and you’re not, so don’t judge me with these small ass phone keys!

“Not” history. Though Bot history could be cool

Aaaand what the fuck is he teaching? I know it’s just a scenario for comparison sake, but damn.... I mean, not gym, BOT history, civics, English, math, home economics (they taught etiquette, so no). As someone who had to teach art when I should’ve only been teaching Rnglish and History (small school, whatever), I…

Omar now, Omar forever. We are Omar

But how often can I say mustachioed?

Yasss Gone are the days of feeling held hostage by Steve Harvey’s fucking saxophone-playing-smoothie-teacher-but-never-taught-ANYTHING show because otherwise, it’s just fucking TimeLife or SlapChop/George Forman Grill/ShamWow. Turning off the tv obviously not a viable option.

This. I was in the realm of getting few channels growing up, thus his show was... on. It was extra gross to have him be the “sexy” womanizer guy. I mean HELLO? Cedric the Entertainer always brings that sexual heat.

I consistently think my flight is going down anytime it moves. (I’m a BALL. to travel with, especially because I take you falling asleep during the flight a personal insult. You gotta distract meeeee!)

Fucking Coolwater like every douche in my high school.

These kinja deals always make me feel poor.

These kinja deals always make me feel poor.

I need a makeover to look like this. I could store lots of things in that giant hair. Plus, I’d be way taller than my 5'0. The higher the hair,...

And Flight of the Concords are from there, so I imagine everyone who lives is just as awesome. Also fuck things that want to kill you. Looking at you, gross Bloomin’ Onion.

My friends have a cat named Furiosa!

The love child of Chris Gains and a very used copy of Naruto I’ve always wanted.

Ooooh! I loved S Town. I’m from a small “town” in Arkansas that is its own ShitTown, so not as shocked by the racism, homophobia and general idiocy of the good ol’ boys. (This in No way represents me.) I liked John a lot. :-(

As a fellow teacher, FUCK THAT GUY. You should’ve reminded Ian that’s there’s NO App to fix his face, unfortunately. Then failed him. THEN played “Gangsta’s Paradise” while smoking and sitting incorrectly in your chair.

First, this is giving me anxiety reading it. Next, because flying makes me load up on meds, I would punish EVERYONE by not eating at all. Obviously, this is a sign I shouldn’t eat anyway, so rather than waste calories on mediocre garbage, “Oh... yeah I’m fine, I’ll just wait.” Victory for me! Look at Crunch box thief,…