Why not? Just why the fuck not? I hope his specialty is concussion syndrome and the NFL can see MD after his name attached to a lawsuit. 

Goddammit KC, it’s your turn this week to give Muriel her meds. I did it last week. See what happens when you forget???

I’m an old guy, but for you younger people, when it came time to select an elective, did you have to choose among critical thinking, punctuation and capitalization, and off your fucking rocker? Apparently, far too many chose the third option.

Go away

I’ve been so busy focusing on the big league criminals like our present administration, that I haven’t had time to research the little fish. But yeah, I’ll check your boys out, too.

Just because it’s on The Onion doesn’t mean its not true!

I get what Huckabee, the clueless motherfucker, is trying to do, but do you think MS-13 would separate 2,000 children from their parents and use them as a political bargaining chip? No, that’s a level of low only our president could pull off. Not because he’s a bad ass, but because he’s a dumbass.

“But they’ll actually face a real, important test in their last group stage game against Belgium, who’ll provide an important measuring stick for the team’s level of flatulence.”

Tries, but shanks it over San Gabriel Mountains instead.

For someone who complains a lot, you make a whole lot of sense. I’ll buy you a water too, and sauvage, you and I can enjoy some California sunshine. And if Cali4life and iculookin want to come, let’s make it a day.

I’ll buy two waters and you and I can sit in that beautiful California sunshine and laugh about how some people are so messed up that they can’t enjoy this thing called life. 

I have two letters from the two little assholes that slashed my tires (and many of my neighbors’ tires) about how sorry they are and they would pay me back (To impress the judge.) I got one payment from one and never anything from the other. I went to the courthouse and complained. They told me they’re not a…

“It’s truly a generational thing.”

“Show the fake Obama video to the average suburban or exurban oldster on Facebook and you will see them nod their heads.”

It’s so hard going to a measly party trying to dress right that I can’t imagine what it’s like going to the BET Awards. But I’m going to go all caveman mentality right now. You are freaking beautiful! And the smartest (=sexiest) person in the room. You’re going to have a great night and you owe all that gossip from…

Sanders—when the owners of the restaurant were unhappy with your presence, were you detained? Did you have your body exposed for the pleasure of the Internet? Does an arrest record hound your chance for future employment? Did you at any time fear for your life? But then, do you agree with SCOTUS when they said that a…

Why is The Root giving this man publicity?

If this woman wants to let her outrage fly, she can always use that phone to help the children ripped from their families. But she’s probably not outraged about that. 

I wonder how recruiting is going for Mikey. Teenagers are much more informed than he realizes. But good for the young men who can find out what they are dealing with. 

And you know who commits all the crimes (mostly vandalism) in these gated communities? The bored white children of these people who felt the need to move to a gated community.