It's probably been mentioned or it's too obvious to even bother, but the first Evil Dead freaked me out before even a single character was shown. I grew up on the edge of a wooded area and the idea that something sentient could be lurking, watching and waiting to chase me down was way more than my 5 year-old brain…

Sweet, I'm going to watch this over breakfast. Seriously.

I have a hard time watching long movies, but I am bursting with excitement to see this. It's going to be a challenge but I'll try to stick through it.

But the children were all right? Yes? Surely they made it under their desks???
*crawls back under desk, curled into a tight fetal ball as I suck loudly on my thumb*

A yellow one.

I don't even want to hear this for fear I may tap upon floor with toe. I'm hanging onto what small sliver of imagined "cool" I can afford at this age.

Best punishment ever! I wanna be a cat!

Corpses make way more money than I do. YipPEE.

Have a seat, Mr. Manperson.

I'm listening to this now. It's really beautiful and calming. I've heard lots of "weird" music but this seems fairly accessible to me.

Eh, they paid me in yen. They had it coming.

Your spirit?

I wonder if Feldman is even aware of the unintentional pun about dancing. I am guessing he is not.

Guy Fieri is a "chef" like I'm a "nuclear physicist".

After all that, they want permission to rejoin the band? Not only does that sound like an incredibly awkward work environment, but McGrath sounds like a major, major, major dick.

Those are balls.

The downtown Seattle location was obnoxious with their singing and the worst part was watching a new employee go through the motions as the manager showed them dance-steps and made them sing. You could see their souls dying behind their eyes. Cold Stone ice cream is just too sugary for my taste. If I can smell the…

Or just turn the color all the way down on your set. I've done this occasionally just because for horror movies.

This angers me which I'll be the first to admit is stupid (because I don't think I've ever sat through an episode of this show) but goddammit there's nothing wrong with black and white and stay the hell off my lawn you kids.

I thought it might seem a little strange when I started following "Dead Children" but it's all worth it now.