The seedy Times Square flashing gaslights read, "Ankles! Ankles! Ankles!"

It actually makes me mad.

What does it mean?

Oh, wait. She ran into an eagle that some pet owner had dyed pale blue in anticipation of Easter.

Wait - is that what Apollo Creed wore right before Ivan Drago beat the poo out of him?

She needs to edit her accessories

Fedex

Russian princess.

There is already a national Australian costume and it shouldn't be messed with. Steve Irwin and Crocodile Dundee could have explained this to her.

Actually, there would have to be lots of different versions of God, a tableux explaining that one doesn't have to believe in God, a shopping mall, and a couple of fast food joints.

Fireworks. She is the Fourth of July. After a bender.

I hadn't seen that comment - but I am totoally trying this.

Tell me about the sock bun -my hair is down to the middle of my back - just shy of the bra strap. Will it cover? And how does it hold? Do you have to pin it?

It does take forever. I have long hair, too.

Because the style is always based on a 5'`18" model who weighs 72 pounds and has no pores, perky breasticles (not large enough to distort the line of clothes), and hair that is neither straight, curly, nor wavy. And who wears an emsemble worth between $10,500 and $45,600.

MiraCurl. Lookit up. Brilliant.

Haha! I love the idea of a color named bruise.

Or as we say in our family, "classy and shit."

You know what? I didn't dye my hair because my parents wouldn't pay for it - but I never asked because I knew that they would never pay for it. Sometimes, there are multiple forces in the world keeping us on track :-)