Oooh! All these people warm the cockles of my cold, little heart!

That photo is definitely inaccurate. The proper need-to-take-a-dump-real-bad stance is the same as a posture mastered in finishing school.

Also, is it bad that I’m not interested in The Goddess? Is it?

“Call in your mountains, your water. I call out the Sueño Indians.”

His ankle hair tufts are better than my hair, damnit.

Oooh, I’m an ecologist and “professional” is plaid and adventure sandals without mud on them. If you’re wearing your Sunday best it’s gonna be a Hawaiian shirt. No one ever notices your pants.