Oh God, you might be right. I was about to come here with guac being the worst abbreviation, but I think the ‘za wins, even though I’ve never personally heard anyone say it.

That’s why it’s weird to me when my California friends are so smug about the weather to my East Coast and Texas friends. Like, okay yes it’s 72 and breezy, except when it’s not on fire or falling into the ocean.

Nah, I respect that. I’m 5'10" and I honestly don’t care at all about height, but I do care when guys lie about it. When I was single I’d meet dudes online who swore they were 6' and even with thick-soled boots we were dead even. I get the reasoning behind it, it’s just much cooler to cop to 5'11 than fudge an inch…

Friend, it’s even worse than King Kong. See the ball? Giselle’s seafoam dress? That cover comes from this WWI Army recruitment poster.

An overweight child is not necessarily one who is being fed garbage all the time, some kids are just porky, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

It’s just the master recipe for all of our swirled sweet buns, so cinnamon rolls, sticky buns, plus whatever seasonal variations we’ve got going. Right now it’s fresh cranberry with chocolate (which is definitely because I’m a visionary genius and not because I went to the US and bought all the half-price bags of…

Our sweet roll recipe calls for anywhere between a pound and a half and two pounds of butter, depending on the variation. I think the most butter-intensive one is probably the almond apricot roll, which clocks in at two pounds for 18 rolls.

Right? I am quick on the unfollow button so I have a mostly harmless FB feed, but my amazing chola SIL’s passive-aggressive posts about Sr C’s dodgy brother —often in the form of horrible Norteno songs—are the best things on the internet.

Let’s give him his credit. He’s from Memphis and a photogenic white boy making bank off black music sounds pretty damn Memphis to me.

The security team should’ve broached the subject of a possible heist before they got their brooch stolen.

OMG do yourself a favor and get into Garbo immediately. Her being one of the greatest screen actresses of all time (and giving it up at 36, which was kind of the equivalent of Beyonce giving it up and going into seclusion for the rest of her life) is probably the least interesting things about her. She left a movie…

That’s basically me. And there’s part of me that’s waiting in dread for my two imaginary grandpas, Jacques Pepin and David Attenborough, to be implicated. TBH I’d actually be surprised if either of them did (Attenborough more than Pepin) but I’m trying to think of almost anyone else and I’m like...nope, I can see it.

I’d say yes, but that would imply most of them won’t go to “rehab”, stay out of the spotlight for a few years and then go on a redemption tour and be welcomed back with open arms because They’ve Changed. <eyerolling_wank_emoji.gif>

Miami Beach’s

I think a lot of convenience stores will have them, as will the high end stores that will sell you six eggs for thirty dollars because each egg has been personally coached out of an Ivy League hen by Gwyneth Paltrow’s South American omelette doula.

This fucker right here. He’s the WORST of all Pauls, and I’m including both of those Paulie Mayonnaises up there AND McCartney when he was in Wings. Team Paul the Simple or GTFO.

Like a sort of King Ranch chicken?

I want to make All The Baozi

This was exactly my response.

Yep! I put that in my note on spices, which I always include unless there’s a special request.