I received an unsolicited dick pic during a meeting once and had a hell of a time explaining why I shouted “JESUS! I forgot they came in pink!” during the middle of a menu planning session.

First of all, you wasted a beautiful opportunity to use the phrase Old Glory Hole and while I’m not mad; I am disappointed.

You can’t tell me Jesus can turn water into wine when a party gets dull but can’t come up with a tight sixteen if he really needed to.

There should be a trigger warning in this article for that second photo.

Then I’m in the happy position to tell you Ramsay is an absolute peach. If I had to work a service tonight under any current TV chef it’d be Ramsay in a heartbeat. I’ve never heard a bad word about him from even my bitchiest industry friends (the worst they can say is he’s finally given in to the botox recently) AND…

Damn. I’m hoping this is some American Horror Story: Racists season I didn’t know about and Holly Hunter’s out there putting the meth in method acting.

Up Next: post-1994 Tim Burton.

Came here for this.

+1 for the O Brother reference.

Yeah, the Heroin Chic era was a rough time to be a chubster. Not that it’s especially fun any time, but it was weird and discomfiting as hell to be growing as the “ideal woman” was shrinking.

I’ve seen a handful of people leave Uzbeckystan and get right, so there’s still hope, but it’s pretty damn late in the game to still be sleeping.

You’re lucky you didn’t get la chancla for that nonsense. (I mean, I’d eat it, but still.)

Except molletes. I am convinced molletes exist because mexicanos didn’t want to show off by making ALL their food actually taste good. (Full disclosure: molletes aren’t very popular in my part of Mexico so I really only see them when I’m visiting family in Jalisco, and maybe Jalisco just has bad molletes.)

True, but if you look at it as something stolen from a brutually-invaded then colonized brown country and then cultivated on the backs of brown and black labor —including the slave who first pollinated vanilla outside of Mexico— to the almost exclusive financial benefit of Europeans and the descendants of…

I’m going to assume you’ve seen this, but if you haven’t it’s great. Michael knew his references AND kept it fresh

I wonder what sort of hat they’ll knit about it!

Hasn’t that been pretty played out, too? It’s been a minute since I’ve lived in the US and I remember the whole Kardashians-as-First-Family thing being a frequently revisited chestnut even then.

I’m agreeing only because Grace Jones isn’t from this planet.

An ex of mine from back in the day was invited to a communal dinner at John Mackey’s house in the mid-90's...he had no idea who he was and rolled up to the dude’s house with a big ol’ grocery bag from Central Market. He was not invited back. #HEBporvida

oh their weird fetishizing of Lupita gives me the creeps. Like they are SO EXCITED to add a dark skin girl to their collection because the Performatively Intersectional Starter Pack only came with Beyonce.