That’s interesting. I don’t care when someone tells me they’re “doing good” but I’ve never thought twice about answering “I’m well.” One has a longer tradition of being grammatically acceptable, one’s more recent; both are fine. Bigger fish to fry, etc. Out of curiosity, does it change your perception of snobbery if…

Oh, good call. I looove molasses but I’d probably only put a bit in for flavor because it could mess with the freezing temperature/consistency. Next time I do a coffee version I’ll add some blackstrap in. Thanks for the idea!

you can make a rich and creamy sicilian-style gelato by taking 50g of unsweetened cocoa, 75 g (about a third of a cup) and simmering it with a quart of 2% or richer milk (lactose free works), stir in a slurry of two tablespoons each of booze and cornstarch, add a pinch of salt and stir until it’s thickened slightly.…

Because many people —especially people who aren’t American— either don’t know or can’t remember the size of a baseball or softball?

Y’know, not that she needs my permission but I’m gonna let her have this one. Sure, it’s not Peak Inclusive Feminism but she’s been through SO DAMN MUCH with criticism on her body and her womanhood that sure, Serena, go ahead and say some in-the-moment shit. There’s nothing that’s going to make me anything less than…

I’m gonna skip my sheet mask tonight because this post just cleared my skin and shrunk my pores. I have never once in my damn life cared as much about someone else’s sex life as these people care about random fat people getting laid. Is skinny sex that boring? Are they confusing dick season with alligator season and…

Most Americans cruise to developing nations and I think advising them not to eat anything on shore is baby with the bathwater stuff. We get cruise ships almost every single day where I live and you better believe anything within tourist-wandering distance is going to be fine to eat because that’s where the money comes…

Right? I had a friend who constantly begged me to go to Disney with her and sorta floated the idea that if I reeeeally cared for her I’d go because she wanted to experience The Happiest Place on Earth with me. It took a long damn time to explain to her that she absolutely did not want to experience Disney with me…

Cooked radishes? What is this sorcery?! We only eat them raw (shaved thin on buttered tea sandwiches or eaten out of hand con sal y limon at a taco stand.) Tell me your ways!

Amen. And let’s not forget the joys of a summer salad made with cold roasted veg. Hunks of roast sweet potato and beets or whatever, tossed with some herbs and a creamy, tangy vinaigrette can be the base of a bunch of great hearty but not heavy meals.

One of my favorite lazy dinners involves cranking up the toaster…

I’m just jealous you can get unsweetened yogurt and decent deli meat where you are. We’re super agricultural on my side but if you want deli meat that’s not Fud or plain yogurt that’s not plain-except-for-all-this-sugar-and-vanilla-and-maybe-sometimes-un-poco-de-cereal you’re out of luck.

Fake Me: Oh I just go to the open air market every day so all I really keep is a jar of horribly expensive caviar, some eye cream, and a magnum of fizz.

Real Me: milk, a ton of mineral water, cheap yellow mustard, the last half teaspoon of a truly shameful number of homemade salad dressings/marinades/sauces usually…

...if the American was white.

I love that shower so freaking much but yeah, that woodgrain tile/river rock combo is gonna look super dated in probably 15-20 years. But at least it’ll look dated in a charming way, like pink and black 1930's bathrooms. Maybe do a polished/stained concrete wall so when it ages out it’ll be easy to lay tile over it?…

Oh man, I was 30, just coming off this horrible spate of continual family tragedy, I was having a rough time with my friend circle and I was about to lose my job and I was and am a clinically diagnosed fattyboombalatty. I was absolutely not looking for anything because it was about the worst possible time and I was…

I worked for a long time in Texas and this matches my experience. I only remember one time (an older man’s retirement party) where all the women got hugs instead of a handshakes and it was so strange that it stuck out ten years later. I also give a hell of a handshake. Each time I see 45* give one of his jerk…

Damn. Before I got my raw okra connect locally, I had to import jars of Talk o’ Texas extra spicy pickled okra into my country at like, twenty bucks a jar. Now I pickle them myself and dole them out to my right thinking friends like cigarettes in jail.

I’m just here for the O’Jays.

Because sometimes when a deadstocked piece of unlicensed My Cousin Vinny merchandise and an drunkass garter snake love each over very much...

Charlie Fuck yo Couch Murphy vs CSI: Dragon Rape? No contest.