I got pretty bummed when Lebron moved back to Cleveland because it made my Lebron Cavs jersey much less fun to wear.

I registered as a republican that year just so that I could vote against that platform. Unbelievable.

Almost certainly. Size 2-3 were always out at the food bank where I used to work, but it’s still best to lean a little bit bigger rather than smaller (easier to put on a diaper that’s too big than a diaper that’s too small).

BUT...FREE DOUGHNUTS!?!!?

you get me

I watch a few movies every year. I try to maintain a healthy mixture between great movies and awful ones.

Those Contigo Coffee mugs are $3 cheaper at Costco right now, not on sale. They go on sale for $17 sometimes.

Those Contigo Coffee mugs are $3 cheaper at Costco right now, not on sale. They go on sale for $17 sometimes.

So.... women are the best at comedic innovation right now, but all of the top positions go to men? Where have I seen this before?

None of them actually care. They are looking for any reason to discredit Trump, because a joke candidate is getting all the press. The GOP is the definition of cynicism.

didn’t a medium size bird take out a passenger plane over the hudson a few years ago?

You’re aware that Satanists don’t actually worship Satan, right?

We’re aware that several high profile coaches have been fired for abusive behavior correct? Most recently Rutgers basketball I think but also Mike Leach and Bobby Knight. They don’t get fired for saying, “fuck no” but coaches can and do get fired for actual abusive behavior.

I, for one, refuse to write off the Millenial generation as failures. We have, on average, 50 years to catch up with boomers on number of sexual partners.

but I am a square and a half.

In the same vein, I recently discovered that a picture of me was used as a stock photo for a random clickbait article. I hadn’t seen the picture before, and it was in a public place, so I’m figuring someone took it at some point without my knowledge and sold it to a picture farmer/stock photo company. Weird, but I…

All of the universes that we are aware of.

Am I missing something? In what way is this “shot for shot”?

Yes. I’m okay with plagiarizing a eulogy if you aren’t particularly good at writing/public speaking and feel that the eulogy accurately encapsulates your feelings about the matter.
It’s still better than reading all the lyrics to a mediocre country song.

This is UnAmerican. Yoga is the perfect example of what we do best: turn other people’s spiritual practices into exercise/health regimens.

We don't often think about the added cost of rent that it takes to have storage space. Sure it sounds great to save three bucks by buying 48 rolls of paper towels, but if you're paying extra on your rent for a closet to keep all that crap, you often lose in the end.