After reading this, white people have no fucking place to make fun of the JaMarcus and LaToya's of the world.

This is a common misconception among dipshit white parents: just because a name is cool in one language does not make it cool in another. In German-language countries, Bastian is fairly common. Here, it makes you sound like a pretentious ass. You don't see European parents lifting Kevin or Jason into their baby-name…