Because I am a sad, sad person, I have planned my wedding even though I’m not engaged yet (my boyfriend knows, he cares not as long as it doesn’t cost more than a downpayment on a house, which fine, whatever...I am crafty, I’ll make it work!). I *need* this cake topper:

QUESTION!

I agree. Miss piggy is awesome. Does she have her flaws? Yes but we all do. She is kick ass and looks fabulous doing it XD

I’ve been lead to believe that you cannot request actually cool things on your wedding registry (such as trampolines, kayaks, or a new pair of snowboard boots, all of which probably cost about the same as ugly ass gold plates), so I am not interested.

I find counting calories helps me see how much I’ve eaten. Because, you know, it’s good sometimes to realise that actually, you are eating a lot more/less than you should.

You’ve clearly never flown EasyJet.

Foot in plaster, hobbling along the aisle. Paid for speedy boarding...that just meant I got on the bus first. Asked the flight attendant if she could help me put my bag in the overhead compartment. Got a look much like one would expect if one asked a cow for directions—blank and…

My mum had a hysterectomy but left her ovaries in when she was in her mid/late 30s. Said she had a moment of “what if I want more kids?!” until her doc said “you have a 3 already and you’re fibroids are so bad another pregnancy would be a large risk” so out her womb came. She said she’d not felt as good as she did…

When I lived in Beijing my friend and I used to buy dinner for the begging children outside the bars. There was a mobile hot pot stand that always rocked up outside the bars to feed the drunk people, so what we used to say to the kids is grab as much as you want from the stands (it was pay per stick, which had meat,…

Yeah reading that made me snort into my coffee and tut “what a load of hippy bollocks”.

I am possibly not the intended audience, but hey ho...

THOSE ARE THE MOST AMAZING SHOES EVER AND I WANT THEM!!!!!! <3

Capers are amazing and I eat them out of the jar. Because I have an addiction to salty, pickled things. I also eat lime pickle out of the jar though so perhaps I’m wierd.

Honestly I don’t think I could have held back a snarky response along the lines of “then you really need to go back to university and brush up on your drug knowledge” ffs chemical abortion drugs are well known for use in early miscarriage. I'm not in the medical field and I know that!

Good CHRIST. hahahahahaha I am so glad you kicked that little shit in the balls. I bet he thought twice before chucking things at people again.

I love offbeat bride. Me and my partner aren't even engaged yet (we've decided we will get married, but just don't have the money yet, and I'm not into long engagements because I'm strange lol). I just have everything planned because it's been my dream wedding for a long long time.

Pah, that's like all the people that say I have to have a white wedding dress.

This is what’s happening at some hospitals in the UK now. My friend had a baby and wanted a c section because she has a fucked up back (like a metal rod in her back) and her back doctor said that natural birth would be hard. Did the midwife she got assigned listen? Did she fuck. Forced her to labour for 24hrs then it…

Ha cool. Maybe I didn’t sniff him for long enough? Or didn’t enjoy the high lol seriously I believe this to be a thing but I’ve never experienced it myself

Is that only parents that get this high? Because my friend had a baby and I sniffed it and it just smelt... Musty and a bit of off milk :/ little bugger then proceeded to make me feel woozy by shitting his pantaloons.

some things from me, as I love lipstick:

I *really* don’t understand the formula hate. Like, sure, breastfeed if you can and want to. But if you can’t/don’t want to, it’s not going to hurt your kid to be on formula. My friend has formula fed her kid and he is the most awesome little dude ever (very smart, normal weight, etc. etc.). If I ever had a baby, I’d…