That's what she said...

"I forget his last name, but I remember liking him immensely, not least of which because of the earring, which I thought really worked for him."

I've never lived in Chicago, and I have no desire to research its particular corruption.

I think I'm dumb, therefore, I'm not.

Every red-blooded American that lives in a semi-large city has shoe-hunted a pigeon at least once while no one was looking...

And pogs.

Actually, we can and already do have both. Yay, kittens!

Sounds more like we're in the middle of a Malthusian dog fight to me...

A corrupt politician is extraordinarily good at gaming the system.

In Soviet Russia Taco Bell, Invisible Aires Invades You... You Coast Roller Buenos, no?

And proof reading...

The guy in row 2 column 1... that's a Darrell Hammond character, right? There can't possibly be a person that looks like that alive in the world...

The only thing full of more crap than Taco Bell meat is the people claiming Taco Bell's meat isn't full of beef...

I assumed those pictures of "hot girls in your area that want to meet you" were legitimately obtained but lying about being from my area...

IQ tests are weighed by age. This computer program is 0 years old... If you wrote a Hello World! program, it probably has an IQ of at least 115...

It could also easily be lower, considering this is Gizmodo...

"I cannot think of a more insidious threat to the erosion of democracy than citizens who do not care."

That's why I only eat dumb animals, like cows and chickens.

Explaining a Nickleback reference is sort of like explaining the pain of child birth. You won't fully understand, and you're actually better off not knowing.

Of course women drive. My dry cleaning isn't going to drop itself off, and it sure as hell isn't going to pick itself up!