The teenage girl getting assaulted was a separate issue, really... (And seriously, who just assumes they're in the right place for *anything* if they've never been there before? "Uhh, is this Sam's party? I don't see Sam... OH! Hey Sam! Thanks for inviting me to your party!")

A screen pass...

Except that actually hurts someone (probably ends up costing the poor pizza delivery guy $300 or so)...

You're an idiot and don't have the necessary reading comprehension to know what the constitution says, let alone what it means.

The Jedi shot first...

Heavily diseased?

The water isn't *for* anything, it's just stuck in/on the building. They're sucking it into that vacuum truck to keep the ground from flooding.

Or as fast as sucking. *

A gold penis and more bad Brittish humor?

Actually, laser hurricane get the hell out of my house is pretty likely to hit the attacker... it's a constant stream, you can just adjust it accordingly.

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate... HATE LEADS TO FORGETTING THE NAMES OF THE MOVIES!

Technically speaking, just about everything in the world exposed to the atmosphere is a sculpture that moves too slowly for people to see...

Is it bad that the first thing I thought when I read this article was, oh, *this* is the guy I'm supposed to email about my Android app?

Someone teach this kid the 3-day rule before he meets a lady friend...

Dear Samsung,

Stop asking Kat for dates, people. It's creepy...

Randomly tells you stories you swear they told you a few days ago... #signsyoumaybedatingagizmodowri...

Everytime you send them a picture with any sort of lights arranged in a circle, they'll immediately ask if it's part of the large hadron collider... #signsyoumaybedatingagizmodowri...

Randomly and for no apparent reason, they'll sit you down and remind you how to behave yourself if you don't want them to break up with you... #signsyoumaybedatingagizmodowri...

They'll constantly remind you how you're so much harder to deal with because you're not an iPad... #signsyoumaybedatingagizmodowri...