Y’all need some snacks or something. 

Whatever this is some personal shit that if true they can fucking handle on their own.

No I haven’t 

Suck it up and try not to ruin everyone else’s life?

Why are there persimmons scattered around that table? I hope they get the plague.

I just came here to say I’m disappointed in the carving done in that picture.

Hot Take: I would never hit my girlfriend but I would never hit her even more if she was an MMA fighter.  

Whatever

This got me thinking (for once).  If my kid is being a dick can I keep track of the instances and then punch him in the face once he turns 18?  

I prefer spanking my servers

Typical splinter bs.

Hmmm, I have to try it.  I thinking the sweet onion juices will soak a bit into the bun.  Delicious.

I’m constantly on here figuring out ways to get fatter while also judging others.

The blandness of a Toyota with the reliability of a BMW?

Juul ruined Juuling for you

Oh hell yeah! This is right up my alley.

HAHAHAHAHA

Hanging out in the kitchen is the best part!  There should always be a little chaos to every thanksgiving.  My favorite part is figuring out where everyone is going to take their food coma nap.  Towards the middle of the night you’ll see an assortment of my family sleeping in random areas of my grandmother’s house.

Sometimes I feel like the questions need more nuance. The fact that some of these are so obvious is just hilarious to me. I also think part of what is enjoyable about this column is that we get to laugh at how ridiculous some of these people are. I almost feel like there should be follow ups where we find out why…

The problem with Harley is that the people that ride their bikes are fucking chodes.