H used to have these weird “punishments” every time we’d fight and he’d always gaslight me into thinking it was my fault. I hate the fact I'd given into that crap for two whole years of my life.

I really don’t buy into the geographic anxiety. Right now we have a NYC trust fund baby in the White House, and I’m old enough to remember these [awful] California elites...

I assume it’s the same vague, meaningless hopey changey book all presidential candidates write. It’s not like Obama’s Audacity of Hope lit the world on fire.

I don’t think a woman with her background would have been given the time of day of she wasn’t willing to compromise herself a bit to try to scratch her way up; she is a lot like Obama. But I also think that if given the chance, she would make so much progress. Just like Obama; he was forced to the center so many…

I thought this had been established since Lenny Bruce and George Carlin.

If I wanted to listen to a bitter, washed-up crank, I’d download the new Denis Miller album. 

OMG! OMG! OMG! I was first! I’d like to thank the Jezcademey! And the turkey grease! And oh they’re playing me off....

I’m sure they would steal white dance moves just as greedily; but... ...name one.

I do not understand why we need to worry about Hart’s redemption, or Louis CK, or Al Franken, or Matt Laurer or any other recent asshat.

Man, that’s fantastic. I have heard several times that both Steve Martin and Martin Short are great guys.

A guy I know drove Martin Short years ago. The driver mentioned he was trying to be a comedic actor and he was inspired by Father of the Bride. Martin calls up Steve Martin to give the driver some advice. When they get to the destination Martin lied and said the driver was his son so they could have dinner together: I …

You have brought shame on your family for generations to come.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

So, a few years ago (it was either April or June in 2015), I was at this cool little spot that has karaoke night once a week. I am there with a bunch of friends of mine, rocking out as I do (I am a HUGE attention whore and also I love doing karaoke because I have a pretty decent voice and I’m really good at getting…

I’ve met/seen/bumped into more celebrities than I can count and unless I’m actually at an event/meal/hangout type thing (where interaction is acceptable) I follow “New York code” and presume they’re living their lives and ignore them like I would any other New Yorker.

It was Friday night and I was pretty drunk in a bar, when a handsome man tried to walk past me. I raised my glass to him and said jokingly: hey, James Bond! He stopped, looked me up and down, walked on and I realized yes, indeed, it was James Bond (Pierce Brosnan).

I WIN THIS GAME!! Especially topical right now.

I have nearly been run over by David Byrne on a bicycle at least 5 times, once while I was directing pedestrian traffic on the west side highway for a food festival thus leading me to shake my fist and mutter his name angrily at him as he passed.

AHHH I’m excited to read everyone’s answers. I live in hope to someday have my own. Luckily my family is more fortunate.

Now we’re talking! come on, you can’t just make that statement and then not provide any further datails;out with it!