May the consumerist machine die a slow and wretched death.

Ha, thanks for this! I never would have known she did this, she looks great!

The Turtle Knight always triumphs! HAVE AT YOU!!!

Um, actually, a whole lot of people wrote them for him. He was notorious for working writers round the clock and treating them like shit.

Sweet Valley High was my secret shame as a heterosexual teenage male during the late 80s and early 90s. I spent hours at various B Dalton's and Waldenbooks throughout the malls of the greater St. Louis region catching up on the happenings. Then I'd walk out with a Stephen King book as my beard.

I…clearly stopped reading that series WAY too early.

I've had many of these conversations over the past several months. And I've been trying to sharpen my perspective on this problem, the problem of the "how do I help," question. I offer these comments with compassion and great respect for your commitment to children and families:

Just help. Just do what your…

Every time I read an article explaining how white people who think they are helping really aren't... this is the response from so many white people. "I don't know what to do then, maybe I should just do nothing?" If we stay inactive with the excuse of "not accidentally making things worse," we're letting the racist…

In life, it's generally a good rule of thumb to remember that it's actually RARELY about you.

Looking at your ultrasounds, I absolutely agree that it would be totally reasonable to assume you were pregnant. That being said, there is also something *not quite right* going on, whether it's a fetal abnormality, or something else that is not a fetus but may be a cause for concern.

Aren't Ouija boards made by Parker Brothers? I'd be far more concerned about Monopoly if I were a parent of impressionable youth. At least Ouija doesn't encourage you to back stab all your friends for the glory of capitalism.

thats not how this works

From the NPR Article "So are small burger chains like Moo Cluck Moo — which are willing to pay workers more and serve more upscale menus — going to put pressure on the giants such as McDonald's and Burger King to raise wages?

There are some things—gaping chest wounds and placental abruptions, pinkeye, tuberculosis, sepsis (when it's caught), cataracts, vaccinatable childhood diseases—that the medical system is AMAZING at treating. They are fucking miracles and it's life altering. That's why when your body ain't working, your first stop…

The Richard Pryor white man voice really is the best white man voice of all time.

I have the same question about how many people she had sex with outside of work, because that's always where the numbers get fuzzy. I mean shit, I can't keep an accurate count and I'm not even to triple digits.

Yup.

But unless she was the world's least talented hooker, she undoubtedly didn't adhere to the simplifying assumption of only boffing each gentleman once.

I was getting strong Sedaris vibes from this. Anyone else?