Wait, what? He is one of the BEST celebrity car owners! You're drunk, go home.

Keith Law has the science on his side, but you have to give a man of faith like Schilling credit—

Ben: I refuse to sit next to you as you continue to make a mockery of our heritage.

Dan Snyder started re-tweeting this story to prove his point, until he realized that the word "quarterback" was in there.

"We just wanted everybody to know that we support Michael and acknowledge what happened in Ferguson,'' Brandon Meriweather said.

I just ordered a 235i yesterday. I know I'm not really commenting on the article, I'm just so excited.

Thank god for Cooley and Szabe

If Limp Bizkit had a baby with a UFC fight and reared this child on Monster energy drink, that's what it would look like.

"ATS is now Q3.

Sweet fancy Moses, your name tells me all I need to know. Laurel or Olney?

See, I've always throught the friendzone was at it's basic level just unrequited love. I don't know about redditors but generally the frustration I would hear from other guys in the friendzone isn't entirely about the lack of reciprocation. More it's that they constantly hear the female friend bemoaning that she…

Obligatory

BBWAA: "It was important to figure out the harshest penalty we could give Dan Le Batard without allowing him a chance to present his side of the story."

"Wait, there's now a Shorter BBWAA? Finally, maybe now they'll let me in."

That poor car!

I used to put milk in my cereal; this was dumb. Sriracha was the proper choice all along.

"No, no, tell the umps they get one ball for the game. If they want more there's a Wal-Mart down the road."

Will it blend?