captainqfigpuckerucrimeaerivereaboutryourfbrokenacomputerg
CaptainqFigpuckeruCrimeaeRivereAboutrYourfBrokenaComputerg
captainqfigpuckerucrimeaerivereaboutryourfbrokenacomputerg

The fact that the dumb white guy's last name was "Ferguson" pretty much proves that the universe has an inherent drive towards irony.