"When the average person sees the Packers doing it, it becomes a safe thing. That it's not the kids in mom's basement anymore," Fuge said.

Great how are we going to know if they've passed out due to boredom, or diet.

Konrad learned that Bison Dele's Locker, is a terrible bar.

It's a good thing Konrad had been a Dolphin. If he had been a Jet, they'd probably still be looking for him.

Following the spill, Horacek scratched Phaneuf and inserted himself into the lineup.

neutral.

Paper baaaaaaaaags........ FUCK!
-Robert Swift

This man is clearly not Wilt Chamberlain.

Rowland is also one hell of a defender, blocking shots at will. In fact I read somewhere that he led Turkey in stuffing.

Bold move. Usually you don't tell anyone what your favourite Vin Diesel movie is.

How is this even still a question? Yes! He prefers the company of a large, throbbing penis over that of a gross vagina. Can we fucking move on?

You can celebrate both christmas AND Kwanzaa, Ebenezer.

This is clearly written from the perspective of someone whose family was systematically smothered to death on christmas eve, by a gang of christmas sweater-laden marauders. This can be the ONLY explanation for an article so steeped in Grinch.

While not having received any recruiting letters himself, the eldest brother What'a still managed to send the family's life-savings to a lovely Prince in Nigeria.

"Horny juice. Nicole liked to call me that from time to time. When she wasn't being murdered."

I wouldn't say that this is the worst season. I mean, who can forget that year where umm........and there was...grapes??...or...

-Every NFL player.

Sage advice to heed, THOMAS.

D- Rusty Dessert, So., Utica
Double marks for being an awesome Lacrosse name, and a putrid sex act I will gladly pay extra for.

Hopefully someone punts Raysism full of Buckshot.

Poor Nando. I loved him back to his Atleti days. But as a Chelsea supporter, this guy is the Chuck Knoblauch of strikers. Maybe City can take him on and send him to NYCFC as a replacement for Lamps. Or an intramural league in Madrid may be interested...