Fiero

My time as a criminal defense attorney had me see enough inmates wearing socks and sandals/slides to last a lifetime. Seeing people on the street willingly choosing that foot attire blows my mind.

My fiancee was saying last night she wants to eventually move to Maine. It’s where her family is originally from, and she has a few remaining relatives still there. Thanks for giving me the ammunition I need to shoot down her idea.

So they can tell others they live in The City.

Sane, educated people can move to Alabama en masse, to change the constituency.

So is winter already over now?

Then stop calling them stock cars. 

I was happy this plate wasn’t claimed when I bought my car.

Mute is usually the second button down on the right side of the screen.

63?? There’s no way in hell 34-year-old me is going to scan and bag 29 of my own items.

Yep. It's shocking how many women on online dating are in some transition between married and divorced. Makes me want to design an app for almost-divorcees. Call it Reboundr.

Learning how to silence the gas pump TV made me feel like a superhero.

The bag people at Publix will insist on helping you to your car. It’s bad enough that they think a 34 year old man needs help taking groceries to his car. It’s worse when they insist on walking with my fiancee, alone, into the basement parking deck to haphazardly chuck groceries into her trunk.

Can’t wait for the Real People commercial for this.

At some point manufacturers stopped making off road capable SUVs because they realized the people buying them didn’t take them off pavement. People want a lifted minivan with 4 normal doors. That’s it.

It has black rims, so Chevy will sell tens of thousands.

I can feel the reflux already.

I’ve had 4 license plates in 18 years of driving, and I can remember each one.

I laughed the first time I saw the commercial in the style of a sitcom opening theme, calling her the maid.

So it’s sedan for people who don’t want a sedan. It’s a hatchback for people who don’t want a hatchback. It’s a wagon for people who don’t want a wagon. And it’s lifted like an SUV for the people who don’t want an SUV. And it’s an uglier version of a Honda Crosstour? It’s a vehicle for people who only know what they…