a breakup that has dragged through for 5 months for some ungodly reason I cannot explain

You’re sitting still. Where are you going that you can avoid being rear-ended (assuming you can even tell that you’re going to be rear-ended with time to spare)? And you’re going to speed out into traffic in the lane beside you to avoid getting hit in your original lane?  

Pulling out from a side street in front of me and then slowing down (or not speeding up) because you’re turning on the next street. Why the fuck did you pull into traffic knowing you were going to be going slower than the other cars when all you had to do was take the next road? Let the cars with the right of way pass…

I think the Sport in SUV means it’s useful for sporting/outdoorsy activities.  And, yes, sporty SUVs are a joke.

Zane’s sister needs to understand the difference between air and vapor. Also, I’d love to go to her house when the water’s out and take a dump in her empty, waterless toilet.

Dying on a hill is appropriate with 50 WHP.

I wish my office was that cold. This time of year, due to southern exposure, I have to close my blinds after lunch. The sun beams in on cloudless days with the intensity of a thousand, well, suns. Combined with HVAC I can’t control, it feels like 80-85 in here.

Flags get picked up all the time during games. I know I saw it happen at least once to the detriment of my Panthers this past season. If flags can get picked up after a play because a foul supposedly didn’t happen then a ref or ump can throw a flag after a play when a foul did occur and wasn’t initially signaled.…

Tire tax.

Make it a tire tax instead. EVs still use those, right? Those heavily laden, torquey EVs do just as much damage or more than your normal ICE econobox car.

I see people doing this a lot. It’s so fucking unnerving. It’s usually the people talking on the phone at 7:30am on their commutes. Who the fuck are you talking to? Maybe I’m the weird one, but I hate talking on the phone, especially in the car.

My 2015 S60 has a “screen saver” feature which will shut off the Sensus screen when not in use.  I don’t use it, but it’s nice to know it’s there.

I’ll never own a Nissan, mainly because their cars are hideous and their drivers are maniacal morons who will wait until they’re stopped at an intersection to decide to move over two lanes or who will run a red light ON PURPOSE because fuck laws.

I think they’ve always been a liability, but, up until the last decade or so, they’ve managed to design a good car around them. It’s like when you look at pictures of your ex and wonder how in the hell you ever wanted to be in a relationship with “that.”

He’s Richie Rich but without the scruples and a I-hate-daddy complex.

A #1 meal at Chick Fil A is nigh-on eight dollars.  Trump can’t afford all that.

I do love a Whopper with no onions, but I try not to notice that the “grill marks” are only on one side of the patty.

Don’t you know how much it costs to serve a football team burnt steak and ketchup???

Getting the flaps of his jacket in the “food,” which is safely ensconced in cardboard.

Why is he wearing his overcoat indoors, in his own house??