American rugby badass Nate Ebner now has a Super Bowl ring after playing for the Pats. People rip on the Pats for being cheaters, but I'd say that a huge part of their success is recognizing talent in obscure places.

We’ve got mentally ill gun nuts shooting up churches, schools, and theaters and you’re worried about Muslims?Jesus, get a life.

I’m not saying that my cousin is overwhelmed but she is overwhelming. I’m this close to muting her Facebook posts on her kid’s organic gardening classes, trips to Disneyland, expensive summer camps, etc. Jesus, it must be rough when your family gives you a house and your poor husband slaves all day for the tech…

In all fairness, the “piano-drop” method of hunting is harder than it looks and has a Looney Tunes sense of satisfaction.

Elvis has flown the building.

I take it that this is some kind of fucked-up metaphor for patriarchal society.

TOM BRADY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS ARE COMING FOR ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Maybe Cialis and Bud Light could do some sort of fusion ad with horny old folks slamming beers and “getting ready to mingle”.

He seems nice.

Snake oil, shmake oil. He and Christopher Reeves could be in the locker room crushing baby fetuses for all I care. I sold my soul to the NFL years ago and refuse to look back.

Heroes

Is there anything that shame can’t do?

This is nothing. You should see him move in and out of the closet.

Dear God please keep this “Why Your Team Sucks” fodder coming.