I know objectively, the world is a better place than it’s ever been (on average), but it also feels like we’re living in a giant powder keg and some idiots feel like now would be a good time to play with matches.

Gee, I wonder why people didn’t want to hear from a woman with a dead fox wrapped around her shoulder about how they should spend less money on unnecessary stuff.

I thought Fifth Harmony were the same girl band as the Pussycat Dolls for the longest time.

You’re saying this like we should be paying any attention to the face.

That might make me come back to twitter on more than a half yearly basis.

What’s up with the Funny Or Die logo on there though?

This is the Secret Service though, not a random beat cop. They have plenty more brains and wouldn’t make up shit like this.

I am particularly repulsed by people implying the White Helmets are terrorists. These are the people that are running to rescue civilians who have just been bombed, knowing they often risk to die themselves when a second bomb is dropped. They are not armed. They just try to save lives. The smear campaign against them…

I hate Kellyanne Conway.

The Church of FSM is an alternative, but the downside is that it can too easily be dismissed as an “insincerely held belief” or whatever BS survives in courts these days. The existence of Satan, however, is a basic tenant of many religions. you can’t dimiss the Satanic Temple without dimissing much of Christianity. So…

Bceause in his spare time, he’ll still find the time to tweet and piss off some random nation, since he couldn’t be bothered to listen to the intielligence briefing explaining why we DO NOT want to piss off said random nation.

Two things:

Two weeks before my parents told me they were getting a divorce, I was bragging to a friend that they were such a close couple and good friends and they never fought, and how lucky I was they would never get divorced. I didn’t know yet the golden rule of relationships: unless you are one of the people in the…

SPOILER: The one with the long hair will win.

Dogdammit Ewan. I liked you!

I tried one year to ask my family to donate to a charity in my name, and they freaked out because it wouldn’t really be Christmas if I didn’t get a gift udner the Christmas tree. So now I just spend a ridiculous amoutn of time thinking of something I really need, so I at least have useless crap lying around the house.

Socks. Always give socks.

I also have a far left colleague/friend who brought this up on Facebook, and I just don’t even know where to start...

For all the talk about the liberal “bubble”, that bubble is thin enough to actually see through and even burst. The bubble these people live in is made of cast iron. It’s completely opaque, nothing goes through it, and it’s one of the mosresistant things you’ll find.

AND BAN ALL HOMEWORK!!!!