True. He probably thinks they’re “ethnic”.

Nah B.  You’re going to want to run toward the flash.  It’s the only reasonable thing to do.

Mike Pence has probably never eaten a poppy seed. 

This is as good a place as any to mention Jason getting a pretty funny nod in today’s Penny Acade.

One thing I hate about writers is when they write something that causes a swift and broad backlash, and their defense is “You misunderstood what I meant,” as if that is a valid defense for a person whose job it is to convey ideas to third-parties via the written word. I write for a living, and if someone who is…

By far the best part of every installment. The default phone signature arms race is peaking in 2019.

From: Max Hesh

Paul Brown, writer: “Hey, Megan Greenwell, editor-in-chief of Deadspin, I’d like to pitch you a story.”

Man I’m glad deadspin doesn’t write about how putrid my Orioles are this frequently 

So when I stood up, it was right in the gooch. It’s normally pleasurable for a man, isn’t it? The gooch.

Man, these guys really won’t defend anything.

It was known as one of the fastest tracks back in the day, but that led to some pretty horrific collisions so at some point they outfitted all the horses running on that track with restrictor plates over their noses to limit their air intake and slow them down.

Big hit to Santa Anita. Hollendorfer’s horses were the glue that held that place together.

Oh, you all think this kid’s face is punchable in that GIF? You ain’t seen nothing yet.

Ray Ratto can’t wait for tonight’s NHL draft and the ill-fitting gray suits on uncomfortable-under-TV-lights prairie lads.

He’ll be fine, Denver's the perfect place to spark up a Bol.

Don't forget the San Diego classics The Stuntman, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes and Almost Famous 

Obviously, ramon was a staple in my life, but I’d end up with 2/3 a loaf of bread in the fridge that I didn’t want it to go bad.