the GOP let the horse out of the barn a long time ago but only now is closing the doors. Except it wasn’t really a horse, but a mangy goat covered in rotten marmalade who thinks he’s a unicorn.

Also watch out for automatic transmission failures. Honda is pretty good at those.

Madeleine, please bring back pissing contest.

Luckily, Joe Gorga found a wife who thinks as little of women as he does. Remember when Melissa Gorga wrote a book that encouraged marital rape and pretending to never poop?

Joe Gorga will never top the moment that his hair-in-a-can rubbed off on all of his relatives during his fight with Joe Guidice.

I can’t believe these people are successful in any way.

“Needless to say we didn’t get married”

Seriously. My artistic ability never grew beyond stick figures. I’m not exaggerating, I cannot draw for shit. That drawing she made is impressive. Gold star Milania!

I prolly shouldnt post this gif or be laughing as hard as I am, but this column really brings out the worst in me and it’s cathartic so screw it:

Every Thursday a child of a billionaire, with no sense of the real world, runs out of a cab without paying. Won’t you help?

I’ve never been in a cab that couldn’t take a card.

From the NY Daily News

As you can see, they have stage 4 affluenza. Their chances of recovery are basically zero.

To birth one asshole may be regarded as a misfortune (see Chet Haze and Tom Hanks); to birth two looks like bad parenting.

I spoke to two pro trump people this week and both are completely motivated by a hatred of hillary that borders on the pathological. When asked why they hate her the reply is that she is a liar. But they seem unconcerned that trump lies. It’s a very interesting bit of cognitive dissonance

Of course he’s full of shit, every single thing he says is a stupid lie. He’ll never debate Clinton in any kind of real neutral setting, he’ll only do it if he can arrange for a moronic circus scene full of screeching idiots who roar over his spastic twitching and dopey insults. He’s a grade-A coward, a sleazy punk, a…

Other than that, I don’t give two wet shits. I similarly don’t choose Presidents based on which one I would rather share a beer with. Because I will probably never have a beer with the President.

I am positively going to have to incorporate ‘Vagina-American’ to my vocabulary! Thanks! :-)

Here’s what’s important to me in a President