Plus taking them in the middle of the week raises fewer suspisions.

That's literally the only way I can get a break. Three kids and a fairly demanding job, I take a "sick" day every two months.

A rideshare car is probably more likely to get bedbugs because it's never sitting during the day. I'd imagine that cars get up to that temperature in the Dallas sun.

I had this happen this morning. Just swiped it away and promptly forgot about it. 

“Bill Gates is a pedo”

When I worked at a grocery store as a stocking clerk in highschool I found $250.

I have the right to blast Vanilla Ice on my back deck as loud as I want from the hours of 7 am to 11 pm on weekends according to local bylaws, doesn’t mean I should.

Great episode of The Sopranos

How was the pumpkin spice one?

My daughter is going to love this! Thanks for the heads up.

They're technically rat rapers. Rats are too good to concent to relations with current Republicans.

What are you using to clear off snow that it's scratching your windshield?

What are you using to clear off snow that it's scratching your windshield?

Raccoons are disease ridden. Be careful around them.

And that's why you never buy anything from a startup.

I'm going to be buying a minivan in about 12 months. I wish that the Pacifica was more reliable because it's a great package.

They're trying as better as they can.

“There were only a few made in the first couple of years before production was stopped so that the company could help de-Hitler the world.”

I do a similar brine with 1/3 cup of sugar, 1/3 cup of salt and 1/8 cup of apple cider vinegar and six cups of water.

Thighs.