Kelly Tripucka is a hell of a lot shorter than I remember.

The new site sucks.

"Whoa, 420(000) man."

I guess the NSA has no jurisdiction in California then.

I'd hate to be a tree in Alabama tonight.

Thank god Deadspin was not around when I went to University.

I wanted to read the whole thing but I dozed off.

The only place that would be considered an attack is if it happened in the NFL to a quarterback.

So did Loria just send a car to pick her ass up? How the fuck do you get someone out of Cuba without being a close personal friend to Castro?

I guess texting "You complete me" didn't work on Martin either.

Indica or Sativa?

@AdamSchefter Stop slandering my name. You hide behind "sources" who are not man enough to put their name behind the BS you report

Again?!

Never apologize for finding something in this life that you enjoy. In the end who gives a shit what people across the Internet think about your favorite sport. I actually don't mind that hockey is not as popular, I know what the sport means to me and that's all I need.

+1

Nope, just field-turf.

"The key to a successful league is expansion."

Looks like Mel isn't the only one to lose his balls over this thing.

And yet, this is the only sports site that has posted anything about it so far. I guess the real motivation for Deadspin bringing this to everyone's attention is so Card fans can make passive-aggressive asses out of themselves in the comments.

[bong hit]