Treated Lucas like he was a 7 year old at basketball camp.

Joe Paterno, the Stanley Cup of dead people.

who is going to be my hero now?

Did Peter Gammons get knighted recently or is everyone just contractually obligated to refer to him as "Hall of Fame baseball reporter Peter Gammons"?

Welcome to Hockeytown Prince, now GET OFF OUR ROOF!

Non-story. Everyone knows Duke is a Lacrosse school.

What a fitting tribute.....

e.e. cummings brother E.E. would be proud.

Now would be a good time to share with you the video of my colonoscopy...

and in pig latin

but the commenters of Deadspin aren't sending emails or making prank calls to Paterno's family.

(Using my best Matt Gould 'Joe Shmo' imitation)

+1...AAMOF?

Now we know why the Penn State trusties have been making all those public appearances, they needed an alibi.

Where is the traditional game day color-coded map? You really expect people in these areas to read??

I'm thinking of printing those comments out, binding them to a book, and pitching a pilot to CBS with Shatner as the lead.

That he Has a 20-Month Old Daughter Named "Queen Elizabeth"

They should be easy to spot, just look for anyone wearing a Phillip Rivers' Giants uniform.

Archer came back just in time, what a shitty day. And by 'shitty' I mean I have been prepping for a colonoscopy tomorrow kind of shitty.

Yeah, right. Next you will tell me he's now 18 years old.