Yes! With a waxed mustache. Whatever his profession, I am positive he must have a waxed mustache.

I have heart-bubbles all in my eyes over that name. Webster Tarpley! Webster G. Tarpley!! Are we sure he isn’t friends with Lemony Snicket, or a longtime resident or Narnia, or one of Jeeves’s old butler-school chums?

It is like thousands of tiny fly fishers are living on his scalp

Exactly what I thought. Her entire marriage has been one long escort service call.

If I get to Hell and it doesn’t look like Times Square, I am going to be genuinely perplexed.

I fall firmly on the side of yes, absolutely. Dude went into an alternate hell dimension to save a kid.

He is. Would bang. Repeatedly.

Also Matthew Modine’s evil character because I haven’t gotten a really good look to determine silver fox or nah.

For someone who says he loves his whiteness he surely covered it.

You’d think solar experts would know from shade.

This sounds so great! I definitely do not recommend the emergency c-section exploding placenta eclampsia anemia eclampsia anemia thing. It’s very rare though. But I did gain a lot of weight, partly to make up for the weight I lost during the pregnancy, partly because I was overeating because I was anemic, and partly…

What a beast! Buying clothes for other people is dangerous territory even with the best of intentions...but passive-aggressively buying clothing deserves a delicious Ex-Lax cake delivered to their house!

I mean, I do agree with you. The flipside, though, is that he’s so blatantly and painfully invested in public opinions/perceptions of his body parts and is such an evil person that I can see why it might be good to go for his obvious Achilles heel (which in this case is located between his legs).

Sorry I’m late to the SNS party!!! Here is your belated Brag Thread. My brag: I saw the Trump statue in Seattle (the Emperor Has No Balls one)! It is truly horriffic. Not sure that counts as a brag, but oh well. Brag away, babes! Let’s hope this isn’t our last SNS together (note to Univision: we like Kinja and…

I just feel so lonely and unhappy, you guys. I’m about to start my second year of grad school, but I’m scant on friends and really, patently unsuscessful for the first time in my life. I just feel like nothing matters and my life is going to suck no matter what I do. Have any of you ever dropped out of a graduate…

Honestly I’m not sure I’ve ever been quite so happy to see a feature come back. If this doesn’t deserve a yaasss, I don’t know what does.

Because I could not stop for Finals, they finally stopped for me.

Skin to skin contact is beneficial for infants because it promotes bonding. I promise that it will not give you a boner.

She asked him to find the little man in the canoe, and he said, “Baby, I’m right here!”

My favorite ever discription of Channing Tatum: “He looks like a thumb.”