They’re going to blame that on Obama and entitlements. Entitlements will be dismantled and cease to exist and they’ll still blame their tax bill on them. As dictated to Fox and Friends by our fascist overlords.

Only I could save Cordelia, but Crooked Albany stood in my way. The country will descend into chaos for centuries. Sad!

It’s because that Big Data song was everywhere the year he won the Super Bowl. I would have thought the song was about me too.

She’s Regan, Ivanka is Goneril and Tiffany is Cordelia.

I met Dan Quayle the day I moved into my freshman dorm. It was surreal: I had his picture over my light switch all through high school with the nose cut out for the switch, and I still mistook him for Pat Sajak.

Bread and circuses and walmart

nvm. Good book

What gets me is how she managed to maintain it during birth. Crowning head gonna tear right through that hymen.

My family did and exchange one year with a fifty dollar limit and everyone (save me) gave everyone else a fifty dollar check.

Y’all are being to hard on Cards Against Humanity. It’s a mirror to our selves. I play it at least once a year with a large group of gay men and 99% of the answers in my game play have been double entendres.

In the 90s when I was in college consulting was the career you went into if you were rich and well connected. I’m not sure it’s a real career.

I have no sense of smell. This must be why I keep dating the same asshole and not realizing it until four years in.

I didn’t cook for the first time in a long long time. My husband’s out of work while I have three jobs and our toddler to deal with, so he cooked and it was delicious. Vegan baked Mac and cheese if you can believe it.

Two and a half. My parents wanted to know if we should name the baby Amy or Ruth. I said Ruth because I thought it was a boy’s name and I wanted the baby to be a boy.

Sisters of shitty sisters unite!

No. Your mother in law is cracked. Mine runs around the house in a negligee. My own mother won’t come over if she’s here.

Because Irish people were the hated immigrant group 150 years ago? And it feels like America is reverting 150 years? That’s the kind of joke I would tell.

I’m a bisexual pothead too! High five

We’re all under a lot of stress. But I have to point out that anything can be used a metaphor. Without in anyway taking anything from those who experience the real un-metaphored thing.

My husband gaslights me. I believe Trump gaslights us. That’s all.