My mother-in-law does that. I always put it right on over what I'm wearing so everyone can see how ridiculous I look.

Everyone feels that way in grad school. If you're not in the humanities, stick it out. If you are, GTFO.

Why doesn't this have more stars?

I kind of love Family Guy’s repeated send-up of that trope.

Some vegans eat nothing but potato chips and Oreos and vegan hot dogs.

Such is life, no?

No, releasing the tax returns is only something they started doing when they started challenging each other to do it, twenty or thirty years back.

I came here to say they all look like Ivanka.

Oh how I wish I'd married that guy...

Are we sure this McIver person is real? Beautiful is a weird adjective to assign to a political speech. Most of these sentences are short and stumpy and Trumpy, too.

No, I just think the debate is weird.

I’m white. I was all racist redneck schadenfreude whoopie until I found out it was the dead man’s mother. I don’t think there would be enough shit in the world for me to lose if someone killed my son.

I thought he was 29?

My baby puked into my mouth once.

I had a baby last year for precisely that reason. I was afraid not to do it, not convinced that I wanted to. I was never maternal or nurturing and had no idea what to do with my dolls as a kid, but holy hell do I love being a parent. I’m gobsmacked by it.

I get the impression she doesn’t take crap. I’m married, but I’m shamefully willing to take a little crap.

I really don’t think that scenario sounds ‘more likely’ at all.

That's not fair. There's a big difference between 14 and 24.

And this also might explain why Monica saved the dress!

That always bothered me, too.