Sportsballs people know all about alternative facts. (Usually their political counterparts are better at this game, but I think it may be the other way around for the next n years.)

Plunder-monkeys ... that’s glorious.

Honestly I already resent this movie just because I’ve seen the trailer like 9 times in the last month. It looks like schlock and animal death sucks (esp when it’s a dog). But reading this moves me from definitely not to hell no.

This isn’t my area so I should stop talking but ... as far as I know the US doesn’t want him for anything. We might well extradite him to Sweden.

You’re gonna sully the name of the Great Pumpkin by using it to refer to the Cheeto Powder Dumpster Fire? Disgusting

oh fuck this is criminally understarred and I can’t stop laughing

So the only thing that separates him from all other Deadspin commenters is that he was an average punter? Got it.

Honestly I was picturing a helicopter. Not as easy to stop as a ground vehicle.

... now I know why the “bikram yoga” in my neighborhood changed its name to “i am yoga.” I’m going to pretend I do, anyway. (They kept the sign, just removed the newly redundant letters.)

My little sister had a friend whose mom yelled at her (in front of me) that if she got pregnant, she was on her own and getting kicked out. I don’t know the friend’s precise age, but it would have been in the 10-13 range.

“Everybody knows better” — obviously not.

... now I kind of want to know how the ROTJ novelization handles that, if it does.

Oh, I’m right there with you. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about her opinion.

[redacted]

My SO’s relatives include an aunt who thinks that we should kill criminals instead of keeping them alive for life in prison. Like when they run out of appeals, that’s it, kill ‘em.

I like this thought ... and it explains why I feel more like a millennial than not much of the time, despite not qualifying as one by most measures. (I’m also 36.)

You fucking bastard, here’s your star.

I don’t mean this in an attacking you way but wow this thread has turned into a garbage fire of all the celebrity death fears I have quietly worried about but refused to vocalize

Yeah ... one of my great-grandmothers had two children and outlived them both.

Okay my eyes were kind of leaking but now I’m a weeping disaster so thanks for that