Three words: cream cheese frosting.

Sorry boys. Not cat girls for you.

If you put more effort in surely you could engineer one?

...there’s almost no security at all for your luggage.

I better be able to order a salad that looks like a potted fern!

Thanks for the Q-Tip!

I’ve never agreed with Torch so much in my life.

I’ve noticed that not one person has specified a mayo. That’s interesting. 

I’ve noticed that not one person has specified a mayo. That’s interesting. 

Yes. Total agreement.

I’ve yet to step into the make-your-own-que ring.

No because they’ll be using Heinz bbq which is a sad thing to behold.

He said, “What were you arrested for, kid?” and I said, “litterin’”

2 7-11 dogs (one loaded with chili and cheese and one loaded with spicy pepper relish, onions and mustard) and a refill on my big gulp container. This all rung up for slightly under $3.

I’m partial to Sweet Baby Ray’s

Yeah but Sweet Baby Rays.

Mayocue is legit. I think I’ll still mix my own though.

Flying with my infant is just about the last thing I would ever want to do.

I’ve never eaten a scotch egg I didn’t make.

Working at Taco Bell killed Gimme the Beat Boys for me.