These two commenters win at life.

LUMBERJACK WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS WITH TARA AND JOHNNY.

I think they make a charming duo and I would seriously watch ridiculous sporting events more often if they were the commentators for them. FLY FISHING WITH TARA AND JOHNNY.

I'd hit it. Only, like, one time though. Maybe twice if it was stellar, but seems doubtful.

More to the point, can you promise that in the future you'll satisfy our desire for James Franco penis? Perhaps by posing as a teenage girl online and telling him you've never seen a real one?

I am sorry I disappointed you due to a lack of actual James Franco penis. Please keep reading and in the future I promise to do everything I can to make your experience here a pleasant one.

Is anyone into James Franco at this point? He just seems like the epitome of "every asshole you dated in grad school who always made a big point of how he was smarter than you even though you had higher grades.....and he finished fast and then didn't notice you hadn't come and talked about how awesome the sex…

I'm guessing your thought was "Well if I have to see this shit then you have to too!"

He is ABSOLUTELY trolling us.

Well...While Romans were not so found of the man-on-man homosexuality, it was tolerated pretty well for many centuries until Christian Rome had it banned. I'm calling it. Anti-gay bigotry is what caused the fall of the Roman empire.

This guy rules Steve Hickey's FB thread

Best thing I happened to see on Tumblr today:

The great thing is that his letter is a response to a lawsuit filed by two LESBIANS against the state anti-gay-marriage law.

If buttsex is so unnatural, then why is poop dick-shaped?

Plus, aren't pranks supposed to be ... kind of funny? Pee puddles are not funny.

It hasn't hurt this beauty.

"George." "Bush."

That's the "if I raise my arms up, my stomach won't look fat" pose.